Torquay 1985

Mark Walsh’s gigantic underpants, travel in an ancient white van from a dodgy lock-up in Hackney (the door of which was secured by a football lace); a squabble over ten pence during a game of pool between the said Mr Underpants and Timmy (who the next day said he’d blagged in the night club; of course he did!), the one and only appearance of the Gay Goalie, the terrifying prospect of playing a proper team in a proper stadium – and our best player, who was borrowed from the oppo, had a pacemaker.

Yes, it’s the birth of the Tornados Tour!

And our best-ever result, with the 11-1 thrashing of a team whose name has been lost in the mists of time (hat-trick for Snail!). Cruel and heartless jokers said it was against the local blind school – and indeed to compound things, the day was very misty. But we’re not having that – are we boys? Sadly, it was also in the days before photography was invented…

Those early pioneers were Mal Ogg; Kevin Moorhouse, Nick Deyes, Mark Walsh, Charlie Smith, Charlie de Gale, Brian Fitzgerald, Tim Preston, Matt Dunkley and, of course, Ges D’Souza. Legends, to a man.

TFC v Babbecombe Rovers reserves 4-8 L
TFC v Unknown team 11-1 W